All About Kerala and Beyond

Kerala government is thinking of making mundu(lungi) mandatory for male government employees. This is to promote the dying Khadi (kaithari) industry in the state.

Now we can pull down the mundu (mundu parikkal) when government employees ask for a bribe on a saturday! What is next? Government appeal to all empoyees to have sex only on sunday to improve workplace productivity? Ridiculous...

Posted by onkerala at 12:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Circumsized males have a substantially less chance of getting infected with AIDS claims American National Health Institute. 53% of circumsized males were free of AIDS as per the report.

I was wondering about the remaining 47% of males in the study! Anyway let us pass a law (ordinance will also do) to get everybody cut their "you know what"... (Political activists, trade unionists and student activists exempted)

Posted by onkerala at 09:21 PM | Permalink

Kerala chief minister visited technopark at trivandrum and met all the company CEOs. Main discussion points were development of technopark, issues and development of technocity.

Comrades, we are thinking of introducing chumattu kooli for uploading and downloading. 1 MB download means you have to pay $1 to the trade unions. Upload will be cheaper at 50 cents per MB.

Posted by onkerala at 10:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Some time back I posted a general knowledge answer sheet by Navas. It seems he is also good at social science. Check out this funny answer paper. I hope this is a joke by someone! :) Do let me know if you know more of this funny stuff.

Posted by onkerala at 10:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Malayalees have a unique ability to start any business and prosper "if and only if" they are outside Kerala. Even language is not a problem for them!

In the attached audio file what you hear is a conversation between a helpless mallu(Malayalee), who knows bits of english and an american customer. The american had just bought a DVD from the malayalee shop and realizes it doesn't work. So he calls him up.

Download Mallu Conversation (mp3). Right click and save the file locally before playing!

Hilarious!

Posted by onkerala at 07:11 PM | Permalink

It was on a rainy february day that I invented this unique Pain Therapy. I was on way to my office in Shollinganallur and the road was in a very bad shape. I was having neck pain for about a week. On that fateful day my neck pain was cured! It was cured due to a special jump therapy I experienced in MTC bus. I am calling this CJ's Pain Therapy.

For a successfull pain therapy, rough roads are needed. In Kerala, that is not a problem. Especially in Trivandrum there are plenty of roads which are suited for this due to abundance of potholes.

In this therapy, I will be using specially designed automobile which leverages certain gyrational properties of the road. The speed will be optimum so as to use the roughness of the road for curing pain. Existence of potholes enhances the experience and speeds up recovery. Do not try this your own since you lack my expert knowledge and in the process may permananently damanage your organs which are essential for the survival of humanity.

Testimonials

CJ's is lovely man! I want to have 100 babies of him! I am sure he is a Somalian - Somia Olamia (Miss Somalia)

Daivathinu Sthuthi! CJ yude therapy ente thalavedana matteetto! (Praise the Lord! CJ cured my headache) - Mariamma Jose (Thrissur, Kerala)

I met CJ through Skype Chat. I was initially skeptical about his capabilities. Later he cured my neck pain which was troubling me for 10 years. Thanks CJ - Ananth Garg (Indore, India)

Posted by onkerala at 07:43 PM | Permalink

Posted by onkerala at 10:00 PM | Permalink

Once upon a time Elephant & Ant lived as friends. One day both went to the Railway station to catch a train. At the station, Ant said to elephant - "It is me who donated the Kerala Express train. I can prove that".
Elephant: You must be joking.
Ant: No, I am serious. What about a bet?
Elephant: OK, let us bet for 100 bucks.
[Elephant had a total of 100 bucks and Ant was aware of it]

Ant bribes a passing horse by giving 10 bucks. Horse testifies that Ant had donated the Train. Elephant had no option but to give 100 bucks to Ant.

After sometime Elephant told Ant that he had donated Rajdhani Express. Ant was suspicious but knew that Elephant had no money to bribe anyone. So he accepted the bet.

After 10 minutes Ant lost the bet and lost all his money. How?

Railway announcement - "Rajdhani Express Aaney Ki Sambhavana Hai!"
:)

Posted by onkerala at 11:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

This is one of the funniest answer papers I have seen :)

Posted by onkerala at 08:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The stories of Aana & Urumbu (Elephant & Ant) is famous all over Kerala. These are enjoyed by children & adults alike. The joke revolves around the aburdity of size comparison between Elephant & Ant. Some of the jokes are very funny :). Following is a small collection I gathered over time.

• Why was the ant lying on the floor with his hands and his legs up in the air?
  He wanted to trip the elephant.
• Why was the elephant lying on the floor with his hands and his legs up in the air?
  He had tripped over the ant.
• The elephants of the jungle were playing basketball. There was one ant in the midst of all this. What was he doing?
  He was the referee.
• An ant and an elephant are playing hide-and-seek near a place which has 1000 temples. The elephant starts counting. The ant goes into one of the temples and hides. The elephant finishes counting, and within a few seconds knows which temple the ant entered. How does he know which one?
  The ant left his slippers outside the temple.
• One fine morning, an ant goes off to the market on his new motorbike. On the way there, he meets an elephant who asks him for a ride to the market. The ant says, okay, hop on, and they're on their way to the market. A little while later, they come across another elephant who also wants a lift to the market. The ant says, okay, hop on, and they're again on their way to the market. Just before they reach the market, they crash into the truck. The paramedics arrive, and they see that the elephants are in a very bad condition, on the verge of death,.. but the ant has escaped with just a few minor injuries! Why is this so?
  The ant was wearing a helmet (yeah, shoot me!).
• Later, the ambulance is seen speeding off to the hospital with the two elephants inside. Behind them, several ants on motorbikes follow. Why are the ants following the ambulance?
  To donate blood.
• At the hospital, blood from all ants were rejected. Why?
  They all had AIDS.
• An ant and an elephant went swimming. But instead of swimming together, they took turns getting into the pool. Both were never in the pool at the same time. Why?
  They had only one pair of shorts.
• Once an aana and urumbu went to a govt. office. Aaana came back with tears while urumbu went into the office. Why?
  It was written there "anthar aaana mana hai".
  

Posted by onkerala at 02:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

If there is one thing which I remember very clearly from childhood, it is the Boban & Molly (Bobanum Moliyum) cartoon series by Toms. These cartoons were very famous and is still famous among malayalees. They are characterized by social satirism and elegant wit. Almost all characters(Kunchukurup, Appy-Hippy, Unnikkuttan, Panchayat President Chettan etc.) are memorable in a unique way! Many feel that later cartoons lacked the initial punch it offered.

I thought of creating the most exhaustive collection of these cartoons and mailed Toms sometime back. He never responded. I think I need to meet him personally to get the entire collection (If there is one). Do let me know if someone actually owns the entire set!

There are a couple of sites which offer a glimpse to these cartoons.

Boban & Molly Fans Club
Boban & Molly Yahoo Group (files section offers some cartoons)
Wikipedia on Toms

Posted by onkerala at 09:13 AM | Permalink

If you are looking for the original lyrics or for downloads click here. Check out the malayalam version of the parody here!.

Ente Rummile Sodayanu Nee Nalla Veesukara,
Peggozhichu Njaan Kaathu Vechoruren

adichu wheelayi kidakkuvaan, nalla vaalonnu vakkuvaan
Eth ramathram kuppi venelum veendum nalkidam njan …
…( Ente Rummile )

Posted by onkerala at 10:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)